Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
