Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
