So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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