My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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