I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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