college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
