If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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