were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
