so let's talk penis.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
