I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
