dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Randomize
