New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
