i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
