I'm gonna have a badass scar
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
