sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
she woke up with a sticky ear
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
