Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
