I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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