Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
