So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
i think i have two assholes
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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