Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
