I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
