ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
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