he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
