The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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