I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
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[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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