Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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