Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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