STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
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