I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
