who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
