last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
