your parents love me but you hate me
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
