I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
