sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
