Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
