he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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