this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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