He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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