used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
