She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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