I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
