I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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