??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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