he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
