So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I wish you could order shots online.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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