captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
i out mim tonsoeep
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