I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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