I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
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I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
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I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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