Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
