wanna go halves on a baby?
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
