what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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