ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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