i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
