So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
