So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
