where does the pee come out of this thing
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
