So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
