I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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