HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Randomize
