three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.