Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
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just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
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Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.