Texts From Last Night

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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!

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  (605): Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?! http://tfl.nu/u19h
  Replies (13) Good night (4172) Bad night (528)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.

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  (425): It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down. http://tfl.nu/xg1z
  Replies (7) Good night (5660) Bad night (1773)
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  (619): View more from California

  i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door

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  (619): i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door http://tfl.nu/jy3b
  Replies (10) Good night (1903) Bad night (1071)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.

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  (540): Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday. http://tfl.nu/c8hf
  Replies (7) Good night (1541) Bad night (576)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.

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  (815): we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend. http://tfl.nu/dsgm
  Replies (2) Good night (1571) Bad night (514)
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  (+32): View more from Belgium

  we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump

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  (+32): we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump http://tfl.nu/362x
  Replies (4) Good night (855) Bad night (1131)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day

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  (240): Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day http://tfl.nu/21po
  Replies (6) Good night (2749) Bad night (558)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.

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  (720): I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice. http://tfl.nu/c8dh
  Replies (9) Good night (1108) Bad night (377)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.

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  (302): Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike. http://tfl.nu/7q3x
  Replies (2) Good night (986) Bad night (494)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.

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  (773): He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date. http://tfl.nu/geei
  Replies (5) Good night (360) Bad night (1321)
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  (212): View more from New York

  We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.

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  (212): We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere. http://tfl.nu/afoi
  Replies (9) Good night (1631) Bad night (356)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse

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  (651): I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse http://tfl.nu/8kf4
  Replies (2) Good night (336) Bad night (964)
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  (585): View more from New York

  this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field

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  (585): this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field http://tfl.nu/wzry
  Replies (2) Good night (444) Bad night (554)
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  (562): View more from California

  So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch

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  (562): So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch http://tfl.nu/gm5w
  Replies (8) Good night (683) Bad night (211)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights

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  (602): I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights http://tfl.nu/puqx
  Replies (9) Good night (1104) Bad night (265)

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