Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.