so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
