Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
