I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
