oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Randomize
