I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Randomize
