Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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