Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
