hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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